7 ways to start fighting against self-limiting beliefs

 

self-limiting-beliefs.jpg

 

By now, you’ve probably heard all about self-limiting beliefs, but if you haven’t, here’s a very brief breakdown of what it means:

Self-limiting beliefs are subconscious beliefs that you have created, that stop you from doing what you want or need to do. Business-minded or entrepreneurial people wanting to build their own business in particular struggle with this.

The thing about self-limiting beliefs is that the root of them is not always what we think. Our mind never works in straight lines, it zigs and zags and jumps to conclusions. This means that even the smallest event can create a belief we have of ourselves.

For example, say you were in school when you were very young and another child told you that your drawing was rubbish. From that point on, the seed has been planted and it may not grow into ‘I can’t draw’ it might evolve and mutate into ‘I’m not a creative person’ or even a step further ‘I’m not good at anything’. This can also become things like ‘people will laugh at me behind my back if I try and do that’ or ‘I probably won’t be good at what I want to do so why bother trying?’. We never realise it at the time, but from this point on we have an emotional trigger, that clicks on whenever we are threatened with having to feel the way we felt in that moment. Our brain creates these beliefs in order to stop us from putting ourselves in a situation where we could possibly incite the same outcome.

Stop feeding your self-limiting belief monster

Do you see how the smallest seed can create the biggest self-limiting beliefs? This tiny voice in your head telling you that you can’t, gets stronger and stronger the longer you feed it. We feed it by denying ourselves the opportunity to try, agreeing with the ludicrous statements it creates for us and staying within our comfort zones.

Today is the day we stop letting the monster make the decisions though! With these seven handy tips, you can start to make positive steps forwards. Put up a fight and win against those beliefs that are holding you back.

1) Identify what your self-limiting beliefs are

First things first, we need to know what we’re fighting against. This can take a bit of time and a lot of self-awareness. We need to pinpoint what our self-limiting beliefs are and we do that by noting down everything the little voice inside is saying to us. Sit and think about why you’re not going out there and working towards your biggest goals. Don’t filter yourself, just let whatever needs to come up, come up and make a note of it.

2) Create conflicting affirmations

Once we’ve identified what our self-limiting beliefs are, we can then work on creating facts to contradict them. Take that list of beliefs you made in point 1 and create a sentence that contradicts that belief. So, for example, you may have:

‘I’m not skilled enough to become a photographer’ as your belief.

Then you need to contradict that belief with something along the lines of ‘I will be skilled enough to be a photographer in time’ or ‘I have the passion, drive and creativity to become a photographer’.

Say these affirmations to yourself every day in the mirror. The more you say it, the more you’ll believe it.

3) Do a self-dedication ceremony

I did something similar when I decided to become pagan and dedicate my time and energy to a more mindful and spiritual lifestyle. You basically tell the universe that you are willing and ready to put just as much effort into yourself as you do your work and loved ones.

We need to show those self-limiting beliefs that we’re serious about what we want and that they aren’t going to hold us back anymore because we have dedicated to ourselves completely.

Some perfect crystals for your ceremony are Lapis Lazuli for inner wisdom, Blue Onyx for higher consciousness and Carnelian for passion and motivation.

4) Prove yourself to yourself

If there is something you subconsciously believe you’re not good at, or that you ‘can’t’ do, then give it a go. Tell yourself it’s just this one time and see how you feel once it’s over. You might find that you actually do have a knack for it after all and that little voice won’t be able to tell you ‘no’ anymore.

5) Create a bucket list and an affirmation for each point

What would you do if you couldn’t fail? It’s a cliche question at this point, but it can be the ideal thing to get you thinking. Write down what it is you want to achieve, what you’re too scared to give a go and what you’d love to do before you kick the bucket.

Next, take that list and create an affirmation for each. So if you have a bullet point that says ‘I want to own my own business’ then your affirmation will be ‘I own my own business and I love it’.

Affirmations always work best when you word them as though they are already in your life.

6) Argue with the little voice

When that little voice pipes up, muster up all the sass you have in your body and tell it where to go. I love to tell my self-limiting beliefs where they can shove their opinion. Even if you have to argue with it out loud, let it know that you’re in control.

7) Journal using the ‘Why, why, why what’ method

I love the ‘Why, why, why, what’ method as it gets your brain thinking about the root of the issue. It’s not always an easy thing to do though, because our brain is keeping things in our subconscious to protect us. It doesn’t want us to be upset or brought down by past events, so instead it keeps them all locked away. But it’s these events that are causing the self-limiting beliefs, so if we can address them directly, then the beliefs dissolve away.

The ‘Why, why, why, what’ method requires you to take those self-limiting beliefs from point 1 and break them down time and time again until you’ve got a more concentrated outcome. It works a little like this:

Belief – I’m not skilled enough to be a professional photographer

Why do I think that?

Because I haven’t trained to become a photographer and I don’t have the same knowledge as professional photographers.

Why should that stop me?

Because clients want people that know exactly what they are doing and want professional pictures as a result and I don’t want to disappoint them.

Why do I feel I wouldn’t be able to deliver that?

Because I don’t have the confidence to present my work as a professional piece of work and I worry that clients will be unhappy with what I present to them.

What can I do to resolve this?

I could take an online course or even re-train as a photographer and build my portfolio in order to grow my confidence and present my work to potential clients.

The ‘Why’ questions are flexible, they should address the previous answers and get you thinking about why it is you have those beliefs. What emotions are behind them? On the surface, it always appears like a cold hard fact, until you dig a little deeper and realise you actually have a very emotional root keeping it stuck in your mind. You can see by the above examples that fear and a lack of self-esteem are the main emotional root of this belief, so what can we do now to address those emotions?

This technique can be tricky though, so if you need a little bit of help identifying what your self-limiting beliefs are, or what their emotional root is, then getting yourself a guidance tarot reading can be the perfect way to get you on the right track. Alternatively, here’s a little spread you can do for yourself with your own tarot decks.

 

Root of limiting beliefs.png

 

Remember, I’m always on hand to help you fight against those self-limiting beliefs, so don’t be afraid to get in touch if you want to talk through things!


Use Your Cards to Reconnect With the Authentic Self

Learn how you can use your Tarot or Oracle cards to reconnect with the most authentic version of yourself with my Tarot for Reconnection workshop.

How to stop believing you’re too busy for self-care

 

too-busy-for-self-care.jpg

 

When you’re trying to build your dream business, you feel like the only way to get what you want is by working super hard. The reality is, all you get from working super hard and all hours of the day… and weekends and maybe even when you’re asleep, is burnout.

When it’s just you against the world, you can often develop bad habits of treating yourself like a disobedient or lazy employee. Your expectations are so much higher for yourself than they would be if you had someone working for you. You expect yourself to be your marketing manager, your accountant, your account manager, your strategist, your web developer, your photographer etc. etc.

Would you ask someone else to do all those roles and then shout at them for not working hard enough? Probably not.

You need to take breaks and give yourself holidays just like you would if you had employees to look after. A worker that is stressed and depressed is not going to be productive or motivated to succeed in any way shape or form.

Why do we often believe we’re too busy for self-care?

We know, subconsciously, that everything is down to us. The only person that is going to make our dreams happen is us. This means we have to push ourselves to always do better, reach that next goal, dream bigger. And yes, to some degree that is correct, but we also have to make sure we aren’t trying to put from an empty cup. We need to make sure we have the energy, courage, motivation and drive to want to make our dreams happen.

I do tarot readings for solo business owners and one of the most common cards to appear in their spreads is this guy:

 

10 of wands

 

Just look at him! He’s carrying so much, working so hard to reach his home in the distance. Everything that he’s decided to carry all at once has meant that he can’t even see what’s in front of him anymore, he’s lost sight of his goal.

The main message of this card is that the weight you’re carrying is the weight you have chosen to carry and you’ve chosen to carry it in this way.

The main cause of this? Impatience. You want to get to the destination as quick as possible so you’re prepared to do whatever it takes. The problem with this is, how is this guy going to feel once he gets to where he’s going? Will he be able to enjoy reaching his goal? Nope, he’ll be burnt out, tired and exhausted. If he takes breaks, appreciates where he is right at that moment, he’ll not only have a more pleasant journey, but he’ll be able to really celebrate once he reaches his goal.


Recommended products for immersing yourself in self-care


How can we break the cycle of being ‘too busy’ for self-care?

If you can schedule your work, your social posts and your meetings, you can schedule your self-care. Make it a priority in your working day, even if that means squeezing in 10-minutes of meditation at lunch.

Something that I’ve found that really helps me to force myself to take a break, is by setting myself strict working and no-work hours. From 9am-5pm I sit down and I work through my to-do list, but once 5pm rolls around, it’s time to log off, go eat and do something that I love.

I also make sure to give myself an hour for lunch where I don’t have to be productive or even think about work. That’s another thing to highlight, just because you’re away from your desk or work station, if your mind is still thinking about work, you’re still working. Remember that it’s your mind that needs the biggest break, so be mindful of where your thoughts are during your non-work time.

Sometimes we don’t even realise that we’re not making time for ourselves because we’re so caught up in the hard work we’re doing. So, if you feel like you’re unmotivated, frustrated or ready to give up on what you’re working on, it might be time for a tarot reading.

Why? Because tarot reading can help you see the bigger picture. It can help you realise what your conscious and subconscious goals are, what approach you’re currently taking and which approach would be best to adopt in order to move forward in a more positive way. Sometimes we need a bit of help to open our eyes and help us see things for how they really are.


7 tarot cards that show you’re a victim of self sabotage

 

self-sabotage-tarot-cards

 

As business owners, we are often victims of self-sabotage, we have to rely on ourselves to get shit done, to hit deadlines, to file our self-assessment and pay our taxes. With all of this to think about, our minds can become a chaotic place to be and it becomes a breeding ground for self-doubt and negative beliefs.

The real kicker is that we often don’t realise these negative self-beliefs and doubts are forming until they start to get in the way of what we want. We hit roadblocks and obstacles that stop us from growing or progressing and we assume it’s because we aren’t capable, but it’s this very mindset that caused the obstacles in the first place.

So how do you know if the problems you are currently facing are caused by your own mentality? What tarot cards should you look out for during your readings, that tell you what you’re facing can be solved by a mindset shift?

Seven of Pentacles

SevenOfPentacles.png

The Seven of Pentacles is one of the most common cards I see for ambitious, career driven people. When we are working super hard, we want to be able to see the results of all that hard work, but it’s not always instantaneous.

Patience is key when it comes to being a business owner and solopreneur. We need to be able to trust that the work we put in will pay off in the long run, but many of us get frustrated and give up before our efforts have the chance to blossom.

This card is a sign that your impatience is the cause of your frustration and you need to trust that you will reap the rewards, when the time is right and it’s most beneficial to both you and your business.

 

Eight of Swords

EightOfSwords.png

The Eight of Swords is one of the ultimate ‘you’re doing it to yourself sis’ self sabotage cards. You’re completely oblivious to how your thoughts are keeping you prisoner and instead, it feels like the entire world is against you.

It feels like no matter what you do, nothing seems to go right you can’t find the right path. What you need to do to solve this is take a step back, stop trying to fight against the tide and go inwards. Take a look at your thoughts and analyse how they could be effecting you in the present.

There’s no point struggling against our thoughts, we need to learn to live with them, so mindfulness is your best friend in this moment. Work with your thoughts and you’ll see how those shackles fall away and life will start to get a lot easier.

 

Seven of Cups

SevenOfCups.png

The Seven of Cups highlights our lack of focus and indecision. It shows us that we are trying to give our time and attention to too many things and because of that, we are finding it hard to zone in on a specific direction and intention.

The best way to combat the Seven of Cups energy, is getting serious with intention setting. You need to decide what is really important to you in this present moment. Think about prioritising everything that you’re currently drawn towards and distribute your focus accordingly. Listen to your gut, what is it saying to you?

This will help you to set a goal and objective and give you more focus in your work. Keep this intention setting going by setting smaller, daily intentions.

 

Four of Cups

FourOfCups.png

The Four of Cups shows us that we are not practicing gratitude like we should. Our lack of gratitude is causing us to be unhappy and frustrated with where we are presently. We are so focused on what we don’t have, that we aren’t appreciating everything we’ve achieved so far.

This happens to all business owners at some point. We get so consumed with reaching a certain goal or constantly moving forward, that we paint ourselves into a corner. We forget to enjoy the journey and want to rush right to the end, ignoring everything we achieve along the way.

With the Four of Cups, it is time to put gratitude into action. We need to sit down and think about all we’ve done, what we’ve been through and what we’ve overcome. Be grateful for everything the universe has given us so far.

 

Wheel of Fortune

Wheel_Of_Fortune.png

How often do you actually go with the flow? It’s something that’s hard to do when you’re a solopreneur. With everything relying on us, we can develop an overwhelming need to control every tiny detail, in fear that all we’ve built will crumble if we don’t.

Controlling every area of our business can be exhausting though, it can cause stress and lead to us worrying about the things that are not in our control. We need to learn that we can’t direct every part of our business and some things need to be left up to chance.

When the Wheel of Fortune pops up, it’s time to address this overwhelming need to control and loosen our grip. Allow things to play out and trust that the universe has our best interest at heart.

 

Judgement

Judgement.png

Inner judgement, something that can fuel self sabotage. The pressures we put on ourselves will weigh us down and when everything grinds to a halt, it’s time to look inwards to identify the issue.

We can be very hard on ourselves when we are trying to grow and run our own businesses. It’s not easy to be a solopreneur, yet we ask a lot from ourselves anyway. Remember that you’re doing the best you can and if things feel like a struggle, it may be because you are asking too much from yourself.

Write yourself an achievement list and think about the ways you’ve grown and developed as a business owner. Be proud of your achievements and recognise how far you’ve come.

 

The Hanged Man

TheHangedMan.png

The Hanged Woman (hanged man in Rider Waite-Smith decks) is a sign that we need to stop pushing forward, stop forcing progress and just take a moment to reflect.

This is one of my favourite cards to get, because it is permission to take a break, rest and just pause for a while. We don’t always have to be achieving the next big thing, sometimes it’s enough to just enjoy the position you’ve created for yourself in the present.

The Hanged Woman is a clear message that the universe needs you to just stay where you are right now. Now is not the time to be taking risks or facing challenges, just be still and enjoy life.


Shop the Mystic Mondays deck right here!